Panel 1:
Mare Do Well falls from Cloudsdale
Panel 2:
Close up on Mare Do Well’s mask
M.D.W. (THOUGHT BUBBLE)
So you betrayed us all…
Author
Sharif is the Poetry Editor for the Southern California Review and a Masters of Professional Writing candidate at USC. He became aware of the reboot of My Little Pony while working on a fiction piece called “Unicorn Hunting” (still unfinished) in 2011. Because of this story, his roommate showed him the pony memes. He used...
A Thought on Interpersonal Communication
I was on my colleague’s blog last week. She wrote her stance on cursing. I made a comment which inspired her next blog post about the bi-directionality of human communication.
“What do you mean, ‘[I] look like a fast mare?!'”
Equestria LA Panel
UPDATE: So complications with a panelist’s flight, and because I’m a local, my panel got pushed back to SUNDAY! Which is great because before I was up against the Voice Actor’s (Actress’?) Panel. So it was looking like NOBODY was going to come! But Kira and probably other unseen angels looking out for me in the EQLA staff made things happen for everyone! So they’re awesome, and because of these awesome people instead of teaching an empty room I will have a room full of bronies who are too poor to buy anything at the auctions. Essentially writers. So it’s perfect!
I’m so excited! There’s so much to do! I have to practice, edit video, make a Power Point! Hahaha! This is going to be so great!
I will be talking Saturday at 3pm Sunday at 2:15PM at Equestria LA in Anaheim! This is my first pony convention! So, um, you should buy tickets. You should go! It will be fun! Even if you miss my panel come say “hi.” I’ll run into you and give hugs! I’m a hugger!
I couldn’t have done this without the help of Spenser, Kira, and perhaps other unknown bronies from the Brony Clubhouse. Thanks for teaching me what friendship could mean! I’ll try not to mess it up. I won’t mess it up. This is going to be awesome!
Crazy Week
Hey everyone,
This post will be a little different. I just wanted to talk about my week, which was pretty crazy. Mostly my weeks just involve things on Netflix in between homework and independent projects.
Monday: My short story “Lagomorph” was work shopped by a guest instructor David Francis because our normal instructor Judith Freeman couldn’t make it. Although, it was very well received and the world was loved, there were a lot of great comments from my classmates and Mr. Francis.
I went home to try to write something like 8 more pages to my already written 2.
Tuesday: I woke up early and I finished my first 10 pages of my first real attempt at a feature length screenplay. They were shitty, but entertaining. I now have a copy of my screenplay with Syd Field’s notes on it. He mostly wrote that I’m really good at dialogue and my pages failed to have the most important things you need to have in the first 10 pages, dramatic need of your character. Which I knew I needed. I’m that guy who is always talking about the dramatic need. But I panicked to be honest. Screenwriting isn’t my strongest genre. So my deadline made me lose my shit.
I work well with deadlines in fiction. The first draft of “Lagomorph” was finished hours right at the deadline. Most of which written within 12 hours of it. But with screenwriting, it is a different beast. With fiction you write a story logically, and it will flow. When you write a screenplay it’s like you’re writing a story to a flow. One is like Eminem on a bus writing words and performing to a beat later. The other is like George Watsky writing a song to a beat.
Wednesday: I got e-mailed from David Francis. He was saying how he was still thinking about my short story and was giving me more suggestions about many of my choices in the piece. We e-mailed back and forth. Although, many people would see it as “This guy kept messaging me to tell me how bad my work is,” I look at this as, “This author was intrigued enough by my story to keep investing his time to make sure that it becomes something.” This is both a testament to David Francis’ character and my draft of the story.
Later someone on Facebook who I only kinda knew from chance encounters in the program, posted something about her thesis being trapped on a laptop which had suffered an attack from a cup of coffee. She needed help. Last time something like this happened, a girl I kinda knew needed a ride to the dentist and I volunteered. She is now one of my closest friends. So again I offered to help her. Her hard drive was whirling in the enclosure, but my computer couldn’t access the files. She thanked me anyway with beer and introducing me to her friend. So I made 2 friends in one afternoon.
Also I work got a humor piece looked at by one of my writer friends while she was at work. So she got paid to read my manuscript. If you workshop with someone who works at a writing center or tutoring service that offers free edits, turn their work hours into a workshop and help them get paid and have more free time.
Thursday: I got a call from my community college tennis coach. He was asking how I have been and said it was around the time of the Ojai tournament. He wanted to hear from “The Legend of Ojai” (me). This title was not earned through tennis ability. I’ll tell this story at another time in another form.
Most of this day was studying and homework and preparing for my reading on Saturday. My friend Angie canceled on our plans to play tennis, so I was free to hang out with The Brony Clubhouse who were hanging out at the Buffalo Wild Wings right by my house. We sang karaoke. I did “Prince Ali” from Aladdin and at Cayci’s request did “Material Girl” by Madonna. Some girl thought it was cool to record me. So if you see video of me singing “Material Girl” kidney punch that bitch.
Of course later Spenser sang “You Got a Friend in Me” and stole the show. I also got to meet some bronies like Dan. I got to catch up with other bronies that I’ve met before who are cool and I can never spend enough time with them like Briston, David (Discord), Tyler, Rina-Chan, Nick, and a dude named Jeremy. I’m sure I’m forgetting people. Brony Clubhouse crew is like overwhelming with cool people.
While there, actually, some guy approached me to take pictures of some toys people at our table had. They were custom painted OC’s. I said sure. As he was taking the pictures he said, “I’m going to make fun of you guys on /b/.”
I said, “Don’t worry. Bronies are the internet.”
He said, “You guys are the cancers of the internet.”
I said, “You realize if you post that on 4chan that everyone is just going to ask where they can get their own.”
It was noisy, and I don’t think he heard me. So if you see OC pony toys on a cup of Sprite, then that was us.
Friday: This day started rad. I found great parking and I had my first meeting with my thesis adviser, Trinie Dalton. Getting a thesis adviser is always scary. I’ve heard horror stories (My adviser never meets with me. My adviser made me write a horror novel and I hate horror novels! My adviser was literally on drugs the last time we met). Trinie was really cool! She understands what I want to do with my writing. She knows the type of writer I am and is flexible about my multi-genre thesis. I decided to push my luck “I want to include a comics section to my thesis.” She was down.
One problem, she scheduled a meeting right before EQLA. I told her, “I’m going to a MLP convention and I may or may not have a panel that I may be giving on creative writing.” She was like BAM! RESCHEDULED! YOU TAKE CARE OF THAT MY LITTLE PONY CONVENTION!
Go back to my car to see a parking ticket. I also noticed that someone hit my car and scratched the paint. I was on the 110 going home and picked the 101 to Universal Studios in order to cheer myself up and inspire me to write my next 10 pages of screenplay.
I lost my phone there. I found out when I go to pick my friend Mike (from Westcoaster) up and I couldn’t call him. He called my phone though:
Woman: Hello?
Mike (kinda drunk): You’re not Sharif!
hangs up.
So I called my phone and it is with the Sheriff’s department in City Walk.
Saturday: Late that night Mike and I watched “Red State,” ovened a frozen pizza and rehearsed for my reading the next day.
Instead of going to awesome shit at the LA Times Festival of Books, I went to Hollywood to get my phone. That night I read to a packed auditorium. A small auditorium, but with every seat filled. Most of the people were my friends, whom I had guilted into coming or who came because they loved me (more on this later probably).
The reading went really well. I met a brony named Michael who came to check out my reading of “Best Pony.” Afterwards he came to me and said that we need to get a reading of “Best Pony” on Equestria Daily. I might be biased, but I agree with him.
Sunday: More book fest. More panels. Worked the MPW booth a little bit. My friend Mike got some shit signed by the people who do “Knott’s Preserved.” I dropped Mike at home and did a mad homework blitz.
J. Eric Lynxwiler and Christopher Merritt with Mike.
Los Angeles Times Festival of Books 2013
I will be a part of a reading! It is held by the Masters of Professional Writing Program at USC during the Los Angeles Times Festival of Books! If you will be attending the festival, then come see me! It’s at 7PM in Leavey Library. I will be reading a poem called “Best Pony.”
It is a poem composed entirely of questions, most of them regarding My Little Pony, but at the same time regarding life. It is a disarmingly fun and a heartfelt piece.
Here is a couple of lines from the poem that might give you some insight into what I mean:
The reading will be at 7PM. I’m most likely going on after 7:30PM if you want to show up late and not get (good) seats.
Here is a map of USC’s campus with Twilight Sparkle as your destination marker.
Parking will be $10. If you’re going to pay, you should really go to the entire LA Times Festival of Books!
I hope to see you there! No, seriously, I hope you go…I want friendship. I hear it is magic.
Read MoreGirls, Philosophy, & Ponies in One Sentence
I was talking to my friend Alejandro about women; philosophy; and ponies, though not at the same time. It was a matter of time before there was some confluence.
Although, this moment is tarnished by my sloppy chat-typing and not spelling transcendental correctly.
A Thousand Words or So to the Community College Bound
One of the lies we are told growing up is that if you study hard in high school, then you’ll make it to a big school and that school will be the key to your success. Not doing your work will get you a McDonald’s job. I have found this to be the adolescent equivalent of “keep making that face, and it will stick that way.”
Going to Mt. San Antonio Community College didn’t equal my failure. After completing the requirements, I applied and got into UCLA, Berkley, & UC Irvine. At the time UC Irvine was the one with the most impressive English program so I went there (Yes, better than UCLA). When I went there I ran into the salutatorian of my high school class who could only demand “What the hell are you doing here?!”
Although she never liked me, this wasn’t the reason for her outrage. She was pissed because throughout high school she acted the way she should have, and I didn’t. She had a GPA above 4.0 in high school. Mine was more like 3.0 (for an honors kid this was like having the GPA of an etch-a-sketch). Yet, there we were sharing the same prestige, in fact I saved about $50,000 for dicking around in high school. Isn’t there a bible story on this?
Reason 1: You can get the same degree with about half the debt. This will help, because your English degree from that top university won’t get you a decent job. It will just help you beat out people without degrees for crap jobs.
“You have a degree in the arts? Nice. Help Derpy with the art of loading this van, also she’s your boss.”
For me community college wasn’t a stumbling block, I knew this was a dangerous place where if I didn’t take things seriously, then I would never escape its publicly funded clutches. This caused me to stop looking at my GE’s as something in the way of my real academic pursuits. They became a means to an end.
“I have to take Intro to Friendship? When am I going to use that as a magic major?!”
It turns out that writers need to know more about the world than just writing. Otherwise they’re writers writing about writing. Although, I’ll admit, I find writing the most fun when I’m writing about writing or writers or writer problems, but sometimes it might be cool to write a piece about a marine biologist, or a piece that explores philosophical ideas, and I’m sure a course in chemistry didn’t hurt the writer of “Breaking Bad.”
“Hydrofluoric acid will eat anything but certain plastics? That’s neat and all, but when is this EVER going to turn up in my writing?” –Vince Gilligan (not really)
Reason 2: Community College is a death trap and the fear of it might make you actually study and learn things you can use in your writing.
When you transfer to a four year school you may notice a few changes. At UC Irvine I noticed that instead of being taught by an experienced adult with several publications and familiarity with the writing game, my instructors were replaced with grad students who were about my age and felt uncomfortable about the “Where have you been published?” question.
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“When I published my first poem there was this thing called ‘The Cold War.’”
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“Welcome to Creative Writing 101. I took this class 2 years ago, and will be supplying you with vague answers for the next 10 weeks. So let’s all pretend I know what I’m doing and not ask any tough questions.”
To be honest, I got lucky with most of my graduate instructors, most. Each of them offered me something new that has changed my views on writing forever, that includes the, um, less awesome TA’s.
But my community college mentor John Brantingham has done more to shape my views of writing than any other professor. In fact, he has probably shaped the fiction sections of “Writing Is Magic” more than any of my other professors.
Reason 3: Community college instructors tend to be more experienced teachers and writers (of course your own experience is subject to change).
Even if your counselor is like “Yeah, you totally took this class in community college!” there’s probably someone in the English department who is like “You’re going to have to take all your creative writing classes over again.”
So you will start again and you’ll listen to someone else talk about writing, but wait! This isn’t what a story is! This reading assignment doesn’t fit into what I was taught! Clearly I went to the wrong school! What’s Post-Modernism?! AAAAAH! THIS IS ALL WRONG!
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“Someone in workshop turned in a 25 page rambling about replacing the insides of a bee with bread. I had to write a critique about what I thought it meant and how to make it better, BUT I DIDN’T KNOOOOOOOW!” (image from “Rainbow Dash Presents”)
This is fine. You came from one school with one way of doing things, and you’re entering a new school with a new way of doing things. The changes can be dramatic or subtle. If you’re lucky it’s dramatic and intimidating. Your mind will have to figure some way to reconcile the aesthetics and find your own path. Take what works. Leave what doesn’t. Don’t forget what doesn’t work; just leave it alone. It might be a key ingredient to your writing later on. If you aren’t going through these growing pains, THAT’S when I would worry that I didn’t go to the right school – but then maybe you did.
You might find yourself being behind the other students who already get the house style. They’ve been here since they graduated high school. This is the only way they know how to think about writing. However, as you start to find your voice, you will be the one with the advantage and confidence.
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“Hey, I’m all for experimentation, but perhaps not having a main character until you reached the maximum allowable word count was not the best idea. No, Mrs. Buzzy was not a main character; she was a plot device. Oh, also adding a plot might help! But that’s just my opinion.”
They have only attended one writing program. By this point you have attended two. They are a product of their program, with all of its strengths and weaknesses. Hopefully, you’ve managed to fill in the holes of your new four year school with the strengths of your community college teachings.
By your final years, you might be one of the finest writers in your program. You might even give some of the MFA’s a run for their money. But don’t be discouraged if your colleagues can’t see it; when they go off to do their MFA, you will get reports back saying “Remember what you said in workshop? Well, my professor said the same thing!”
I’ve said things in a peer workshops which were laughed at, and I was brushed off as having silly theories about writing. I said the same thing at USC and my professor actually applauded (If I’m not nominated for a TED talk in the next 3 years, I’ll do a video on it here).
You see everything they’ve been told to think about writing they got from one source, probably the aesthetic styles of whoever runs the program. Since you are their peer, you’ll lack credibility to have new ideas brought in and respected by the ego-driven crowds. To say something that disagrees with the house style, no matter how flawed the house style is or how sound your reason is, they will think that it is you who doesn’t understand. So they will need someone of merit to tell them the same thing you did before they’ll listen. (Befriend those who are open-minded enough to listen to you; this will keep you sane.)
Reason 5: No creative writing program is perfect. Each has its strengths and weaknesses. Already having a few creative writing classes from a different perspective will help you compensate for some of the weaknesses. If you didn’t go to community college, you’d have to wait until grad school to have this experience.
Although this was just my experience. Your experience may will vary. If you’ve gone through the community college system, feel free to comment on how it was like for you.
Easter Eggs
Happy Easter!
You know what would be cool? If I had our web designer Tracy McCusker hide an Easter egg on this website!
Completely unrelated, have you heard of websites that have special things happen when you enter the Konami Code?
Equestia LA‘s website has something awesome happen on it when you put the Konami Code.
I wonder if anything happens when you put Konami Code on this website.